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[Vasu]

Well, Loki, it's not entirely bad to hide stuff from your parents.

This friend of mine won this country-level gaming competition, and the final was going to be aired on a later date. (He won 10,000 bucks in it BTW). He decided to surprise his parents with the news, and when the final was being shown on TV, he proudly pointed and told his parents, "That's me, I won the tournament, and see, I won all this money." And then his parents took the money from him and said, "This money wasn't won morally, and I don't like you distracting yourself from your studies. As a student, your only responsibility is to study, and that's what you should be doing."

My friend was SO pissed. If he had just not told his parents, he would have had 10,000 bucks to binge with, or save or whatever. Some parents are just like that. I don't agree with the "Kids shouldn't have secrets" adage. They're entitled to anything that adult's have once they start forming coherent, meaningful thought processes.


Coming to the "I pay the bills" example, once the parents get retired (at least over here), they are dependent on their children (along with the pension). Who pays the bills then? Parents develop their kids to have a good job so they can start depending on themselves, and so they can eventually have someone to depend on in their old age. Nobody would like their son peeking into every private matter of an old parent would they? Trust me, kids will feel the same way.

[Hessah]

Wow that surprise didnt turn out too well...

Did the parents take it for themselves to spend? That would suck... now your friend would never tell his parents if he earns good money... and i hate to say, but the parents kinda asked for it. But then I wonder how "immoral" something can be if it's aired on TV..? (unless its like Big Brother or something LOL!)

But yeah, I do believe that kids treat their parents, the way the parents treat the kids.

Trust and Respects go both ways.

[Lady-Loki]

Well, Loki, it's not entirely bad to hide stuff from your parents.

This friend of mine won this country-level gaming competition, and the final was going to be aired on a later date. (He won 10,000 bucks in it BTW). He decided to surprise his parents with the news, and when the final was being shown on TV, he proudly pointed and told his parents, "That's me, I won the tournament, and see, I won all this money." And then his parents took the money from him and said, "This money wasn't won morally, and I don't like you distracting yourself from your studies. As a student, your only responsibility is to study, and that's what you should be doing."

My friend was SO pissed. If he had just not told his parents, he would have had 10,000 bucks to binge with, or save or whatever. Some parents are just like that. I don't agree with the "Kids shouldn't have secrets" adage. They're entitled to anything that adult's have once they start forming coherent, meaningful thought processes.


Coming to the "I pay the bills" example, once the parents get retired (at least over here), they are dependent on their children (along with the pension). Who pays the bills then? Parents develop their kids to have a good job so they can start depending on themselves, and so they can eventually have someone to depend on in their old age. Nobody would like their son peeking into every private matter of an old parent would they? Trust me, kids will feel the same way.

Some parents do not make sound decisions, some do. If the child gives the parent no reason to distrust them, then there is greater trust and less issue of privacy or space. If the child is deceitful and the parent catches them then there is a lot less trust and space and then future outings are more compromised.

Encouraging someone to be dishonest could cause them to lose trust with their parent and their future could be less free due to it, so I don't recommend being dishonest. The OP should just wait until she is old enough & has her parents permission to date.

As for taking care of the parent, I did not raise either of my children with the intent that they will support me in my retirement. I planned for my retirement, just as I expect them to plan for theirs.

To the OP, I suggest: follow your own conscience. That way the outcome and effects of your decision are you own to live with.

[Vasu]

I understand why you are encouraging the OP to wait for her parents' opinion. I just wanted to point out that not all parents know what's best.

[Hessah]

Yeah.. maybe not all parents know wats best.. but disobeying even bad parents could very well result in something bad i guess...

[Vasu]

It could just as easily result in something much better.