That is true we don't *have* to heal, but when you join a KQ it's kinda of our duty to do so. However, it's the first priority to heal your party and make sure your not attracting any unwanted mobs. If a party member is being rude because your trying to bash and your fighter or mage is dieing due to your lack of attention then the cussing is prolly called for. Then when a boss is being teams by multiple parties I try to find the tank and assist heal. And Rez when ever possible. You only get a couple of ports in a KQ, it's best not to make others use them.
I heal party first priorty, I attack second priorty, I hp stone myself third.
I hate to say it but if you run around acting like people owe you, you will have a very lonely existence on Fiesta. I have quit many a party because I was a second cleric and the Highest lvl one +9 at that, only to find myself healing a low lvl one who wants to bash and not heal. Lame
I also just realized you are also just starting out, You will find that your ability to heal everyone and take care of yourself will get easier. It sucks when people die, but it happens. We have all lured to many mobs at one time or another only to be wiped out in the Chaos. Practice makes perfect. They will learn to keep a level head when they die, When they find you are doing your absolute best to keep them alive and have their best interest in mind also.