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Old 06-05-2018, 07:26 AM   #31
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Originally Posted by Yosei View Post
I think I'ma pass on kids. I'm approaching 30 and I still don't feel ready.
Ditto ditto. I remember when I was at uni, I was like, right gotta have kids before 30 because the chances of complications increase exponentially after 30..

Now I'm just.. nuh uh. not yet.

But for me it's the responsibility that is daunting hahahaaha
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Old 06-05-2018, 07:00 PM   #32
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Originally Posted by lamchopz View Post
Don't be afraid of childbirth. Only took my wife 18 hours, a little bit of screaming then about 5 minutes of going totally bananas as well as squeezing my neck.
Who said I'm afraid of it? I'm not. I just don't want kids If I adopt, it's because the risk of complications increases with age, and plus, we have too many humans on the planet as it is. Adoption is always a noble option.
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Old 06-05-2018, 10:02 PM   #33
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Originally Posted by Yosei View Post
Who said I'm afraid of it? I'm not. I just don't want kids If I adopt, it's because the risk of complications increases with age, and plus, we have too many humans on the planet as it is. Adoption is always a noble option.
On a serious note, adoption is a noble commitment. In my line of work, I've seen too many babies born only to be taken away from their mothers (for various reasons). My qualm with the system here in Australia is that adoptive parents have to jump through hoops to prove they're capable parents whereas those who aren't yet fit for parenthood (e.g. current drug addicts) keep reproducing and having their children removed from their care. *sigh* I just made myself mad again.
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Old 06-06-2018, 08:03 AM   #34
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Originally Posted by lamchopz View Post
On a serious note, adoption is a noble commitment. In my line of work, I've seen too many babies born only to be taken away from their mothers (for various reasons). My qualm with the system here in Australia is that adoptive parents have to jump through hoops to prove they're capable parents whereas those who aren't yet fit for parenthood (e.g. current drug addicts) keep reproducing and having their children removed from their care. *sigh* I just made myself mad again.
My sister is a shining example. She's birthed 10 babies. Doesn't have custody of a single child now. When my nephew Will was born, he was born addicted to crack which resulted in her immediately losing custody of him. Custody was handed over to my parents, and they knew a couple that had been waiting years to adopt, so when my parents were granted full custody, they legit went to her and were like "So um... you want a baby?" They already had custody of 4 of their grandkids, and a 5th was too much to handle.

It was an open adoption, so he's still in contact with all of us he seems like a happy kid, really close with his parents, good relationship with them.

I think my family life is why I feel this way.
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Old 06-06-2018, 08:45 AM   #35
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Originally Posted by Yosei View Post
My sister is a shining example. She's birthed 10 babies. Doesn't have custody of a single child now. When my nephew Will was born, he was born addicted to crack which resulted in her immediately losing custody of him. Custody was handed over to my parents, and they knew a couple that had been waiting years to adopt, so when my parents were granted full custody, they legit went to her and were like "So um... you want a baby?" They already had custody of 4 of their grandkids, and a 5th was too much to handle.

It was an open adoption, so he's still in contact with all of us he seems like a happy kid, really close with his parents, good relationship with them.

I think my family life is why I feel this way.
I can see where you're coming from. However, don't let that discourage you from having your own child. You're not your sister. At least you kind of know what you're in for and what you must do to raise one. I don't think the patients I've seen were remotely aware of the complex requirements of being good parents. In a way, I don't blame them. They themselves were usually the results of complicated upbringing and their adulthood was the expected evolution of that. I sometimes wish the government implemented some sort of reproductive restrictions on these people but the human rights group would be kicking up a storm. In the end, the babies are the victims of this political correctness. And what does society do for them? Nothing. Seen enough teenagers who are in government custody to know that the system failed them even before they were born.
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Old 06-10-2018, 10:54 PM   #36
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Originally Posted by lamchopz View Post
Don't be afraid of childbirth. Only took my wife 18 hours, a little bit of screaming then about 5 minutes of going totally bananas as well as squeezing my neck.
Congratz on being a dad!

Childbirth is not the scary part, it's the sleep deprevation that follows that's the torture... I only feel more human and like a parent after a year

your line of work sounds emotionally taxing, you must be doing amazing things for our society
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Old 06-12-2018, 08:36 AM   #37
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Originally Posted by Hessah View Post
Congratz on being a dad!

Childbirth is not the scary part, it's the sleep deprevation that follows that's the torture... I only feel more human and like a parent after a year

your line of work sounds emotionally taxing, you must be doing amazing things for our society
Thank you. She and my wife are the reasons I can deal with these night shifts in emergency department these days. lol How old is your child now? Mine's only 6 months.
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Old 06-16-2018, 07:17 PM   #38
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He's 2 now. Time flies! Even though some days feels sooo long...
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Old 06-17-2018, 05:20 AM   #39
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Originally Posted by Yosei View Post
My sister is a shining example. She's birthed 10 babies. Doesn't have custody of a single child now. When my nephew Will was born, he was born addicted to crack ... Custody was handed over to my parents ... They already had custody of 4 of their grandkids, and a 5th was too much to handle.

...

I think my family life is why I feel this way.
Ten? TEN?!

Nobody (including your parents!) should judge you for wanting your own kids. I do not know what life circumstances led your sister to this path, but your decision not to have kids but to adopt instead sounds a bit like condemning yourself for her faults.

Originally Posted by Hessah View Post
Congratz on being a dad!

Childbirth is not the scary part, it's the sleep deprevation that follows that's the torture...
I'll just leave this here.

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Last edited by Belaslav; 11-06-2021 at 09:34 PM.. Reason: I don't know why I did that... Bad idea, time to grow up.
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Old 06-27-2018, 05:52 AM   #40
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Originally Posted by Hessah View Post
He's 2 now. Time flies! Even though some days feels sooo long...
I'm enjoying these moments but damn, I wish she would find a good job, get married, move out and support us during our retirement already!
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