I know most of you aren't quite at university yet, so I'm going to give you a rundown on what you should be doing on your first day. For those that do attend university, have a good laugh, and post your own recollection on how university was for you at first. Personally, I found it pretty overwhelming, you seem to lose your identity pretty easily because there are too many people. It's hard to find that group you used to fit in with again, particularly if half the people in your lectures are double your age.
Anyway,
things to do when you first get to uni:
- Smoke a pipe and respond to each point the professor makes by waving it and saying, "Quite right, old bean!"
- Introduce yourself to the class as the "master of the pan flute".
- Squint thoughtfully while giving the professor strange looks. In the middle of lecture, tell him he looks familiar and ask whether he was ever in an episode of Starsky and Hutch.
- When the professor calls roll, after each name scream "THAT'S MEEEEE! Oh, no, sorry."
- Hold up a piece of paper that says in large letters "CHECK YOUR FLY".
- Stare continually at the professor's crotch. Occassionally lick your lips.
- Shout "WOW!" after every sentence of the lecture.
- Watch the professor through binoculars.
- When the professor turns on his laser pointer, scream "AAAGH! MY EYES!"
- Claim that you wrote the class text book.
- Every few minutes, take a sheet of notebook paper, write "Signup Sheet" at the top, and start passing it around the room.
- Stand to ask questions. Bow deeply before taking your seat after the professor answers.
- In the middle of lecture, ask your professor whether he believes in ghosts.
- Wear a black hooded cloak to class and ring a bell.
- Wink at the professor every few minutes.
and my personal favorite (I've actually achieved this one),
start a "Mexican wave" in a large lecture hall.
Credits to my stepbrother's space for this.
http://brainyspace.spaces.live.com/?...qs=cat%3dHumor
Most of the things he's got in there are pretty darn funny, I'm also pretty fond of "what to do in K-Mart when you're bored," and "learning chinese in 5 minutes." I think it's Fa Kin Su Pah.
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