Extender increases your HP and/or SP. Charms increase your STR, DEF, or both. And yes, they are cash-shop items.
I dunno about other fighters but the things that worry me the most in pvp would be mages and charmed-up, extended DD fighters. Mages because I can't even hit them if I'm dead before I get close (my mdef is hideously bad... it's like 4xx unscrolled) and DD fighters... well, they do a lot of dmg but are squishy unless they got charms, extenders, or +9 armors.
There are some fighters that are good against mages. Some carry around mage-killing sets that have high END and SPR. The trick is knowing how to fight them considering that DD fighters have really bad mdef generally. There are some tactics in 1v1 that I find useful but timing is hard and not every mage plays the same, so there's still quite a bit of room for error. Our high dmg output is no good to us if we can't get close enough to attack anyway.
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