Dear FiestaFan

[Ralath]

Dear FiestaFan,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but our socks don't match. I think I realized it when I finally changed my underwear, in your car and I saw you sit on my salt-beef bucket.
I'm sure you're frostbitten enough to understand that your driving sucks.
I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep your photo with the mustache drawn on it as a memory.
You should also know that I will try to forget you broke my heart and your cucumber fetishm is weird.

Go milk a cow,
Ralath

=====================


Do it yourself!

Here's the format:

Dear (_friend_),

I don't really know how to tell you this, but (_1_). I think I realized it (_2_), (_3_) and I saw you (_4_) (_5_).
I'm sure you're (_6_) enough to understand (_7_).
I'm returning (_8_) to you, but I'll keep (_9_) as a memory.
You should also know that I (_10_) and (_11_).

(_12_),
(_your name_)

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White – I’m joining the Convent
Black - I dislike your eyelashes
Green - Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're mean
Other - I'm in love with your cat

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February - Last year when you peed your pants
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When you smacked my ass
August - When I saw the purple monkey
September - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
October - When I quoted Forest Gump
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I finally changed my underwear

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Lasagna- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Fish - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put whipped cream on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5. What's the colour of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – The Catholic Priest
Brown – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
None – My prized statue of Michael Jackson in the nude
Other - The elephant in the corner

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs; Man
O.C.; Emotional
One Tree Hill; Open
Heroes; Frostbitten
Lost; High
House; Sly
Simpsons; Cowardly
The news; Scarred
Idol; Masochistic
Family Guy; Senile
Top Model; Middle-class
Annat; Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exsist
Silly - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks

8. What's the colour of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - Your Elton John poster
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from Vegas
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your car

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
C/D - The oil tank from your car
E/F - Your neighbour’s dog
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of that blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your sucide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
C/D - Never will forget that night
E/F - Always wanted to break your legs
G/H – Hate your cooking
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Will tell the authorities that you did not steal that whale in the back yard
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Was interviewed about the car you stole
Q/R - Always will remember the pep talks
S/T - Get sick when I think of your feet
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z – Am better off without you

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda – I will haunt you when I’m incarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – Thanks for the Cocaine
Cider – I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war
Mineral water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer – I'm scratching my ass as you read this
Other – you should stop picking your nose

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Best of luck on the sex change
France -Love always
Spain - Go drown yourself
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England– With tears of sadness

[a.L]

Dear Ralath,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I’m joining the Convent. I think I realized it when I quoted Forest Gump, in your closet and I saw you sit on the elephant in the corner.
I'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand that I get turned on by garbage men.
I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep your photo with the moustache drawn on it as a memory.
You should also know that I will tell the authorities that you did not steal that whale in the back yard and thanks for the cocaine.

Go milk a cow,
a.L

[Sparkeh]

O.o...o.O

[Blaaaaaaaah]

Dear a.L,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but your nostrils are insulting. I think I realized it when your dog humped my leg, outside of your office and I saw you sit on the Catholic Priest.
I'm sure you're high enough to understand how awful you are.
I'm returning your car to you, but I'll keep your left ear as a memory.
You should also know that I will tell the authorities that you did not steal that whale in the back yard and thanks for the Cocaine.

Go milk a cow,
Blaahs.




Edit: I just had to say this. I KNOW WHAT COLOUR YOUR UNDERWEAR IS. /immature

[Enraya]

Dear kt,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I’m joining the Convent. I think I realized it when I quoted Forest Gump, in a clown suit and I saw you carve your initials into my illegitimate child in Ghana.
I'm sure you're senile enough to understand that there is no solution to you being a dumb kid.
I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep the results of that blood-sample as a memory.
You should also know that I will try to forget that you broke my heart and I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon.

Best of luck on the sex change
Enraya

---

o___o

[Hessah]

Dear Spirit,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but Our romance is over. I think I realized it When we skinny dipped in the bathtub, As you were eating Kraft Dinner and I saw you Sit on My salt-beef bucket.
I'm sure you're Man enough to understand That your driving sucks.
I'm returning The cut toenails to you, but I'll keep My virginity as a memory.
You should also know that I Will try to forget that you broke my heart and I will haunt you when I’m incarnated as an Eskimo.

Go milk a cow,
Hessah

=============================

OMG that's kinky HAHAHAHA

[Blaaaaaaaah]

Dear kt,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I’m joining the Convent. I think I realized it when I quoted Forest Gump, in a clown suit and I saw you carve your initials into my illegitimate child in Ghana.
I'm sure you're senile enough to understand that there is no solution to you being a dumb kid.
I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep the results of that blood-sample as a memory.
You should also know that I will try to forget that you broke my heart and I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon.

Best of luck on the sex change
Enraya

---

o___o

LOL.

Dear Spirit,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but Our romance is over. I think I realized it When we skinny dipped in the bathtub, As you were eating Kraft Dinner and I saw you Sit on My salt-beef bucket.
I'm sure you're Man enough to understand That your driving sucks.
I'm returning The cut toenails to you, but I'll keep My virginity as a memory.
You should also know that I Will try to forget that you broke my heart and I will haunt you when I’m incarnated as an Eskimo.

Go milk a cow,
Hessah

=============================

OMG that's kinky HAHAHAHA

She is gonna be SO offended!!!


Edit: @Hessah - why do we have different coloured walls? Our walls aren't pink!!!

[Hessah]

Ohh u picked others..

i dont even know wat to call the colour of my wall..

it was tossing between orange and pink.. i didnt consider others HAHA

[Lady-Loki]

Dear Gungi,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I’m joining the Convent. I think I realized it When your dog humped my leg, In your closet and I saw you Ignore My boyfriend.
I'm sure you're Middle-class enough to understand That you need a sex-change.
I'm returning Your toe ring to you, but I'll keep Your mom as a memory.
You should also know that I Always wanted to break your legs and you should stop picking your nose.

Your everlasting enemy,
Lady-Loki

[Spirit]

Dear Patches,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm in love with your cat. I think I realized it when you smacked my ass, at the mental hospital and I saw you pull the pants off of the elephant in the corner.
I'm sure you're sly enough to understand That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid.
I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep your left ear as a memory.
You should also know that I never will forget that night and I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon.

Best of luck on the sex change,
Spirit