The 2 Dollar Bill

[Zwivix]

WARNING:only US Americans (or possibly Canadians) older than 40 may appreciate it.

On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold are a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about anyone getting irritated at me for trying to break a $50 bill.

Me: "Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go."

Server: "That'll be $1.04. Eat in?"

Me: "No, it's to go." At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.

Server: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back."

He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them: Server: "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?" Manager: "No. A what?"

Server: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me."

Manager: "Ask for something else There's no such thing as a $2 bill." Server: "Yeah, thought so"

He comes back to me and says, "We don't take these. Do you have anything else?"

Me: "Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?"

Server: "I don't know."

Me: "See here where it says legal tender?"

Server: "Yeah."

Me: "So, why won't you take it?"

Server: "Well, hang on a sec."

He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, "He says I have to take it."

Manager: "Doesn't he have anything else?"

Server: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change "

Manager: "I'm not opening the safe with him in here."

Server: "What should I do?"

Manager: "Tell him to come back later when he has real money."

Server: "I can't tell him that! You tell him."

Manager: "Just tell him."

Server: "No way! This is weird. I'm going in back."

The manager approaches me and says, "I'm sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of night."

Me: "It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill."

Manager: "We don't take those, either."

Me: "Why not?"

Manager: "I think you know why."

Me: "No really, tell me why."

Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."

Me: "Excuse me?"

Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."

Me: "What on earth for?"

Manager: "Please, sir."

Me: "Uh, go ahead, call them"

Manager: "Would you please just leave?"

Me: "No."

Manager: "Fine -- have it your way then."

Me: "Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?"

At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.

Guard: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"

Manager (whispering): "This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money."

Guard: "No kidding! What?"

Manager: "Get this ... a two dollar bill."

Guard (incredulous): "Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?"

Manager: "I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty."

Guard: "Oh, so the fifty's fake!"

Manager: "No, the two dollar bill is."

Guard: "Why would he fake a two dollar bill?"

Manager: "I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?"

Guard: "Yeah."

Security Guard walks over to me and...... Guard: "Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use"

Me: "Uh, no."

Guard: "Lemme see 'em."

Me: "Why?"

Guard: "Do you want me to get the cops in here?"

At this point I am ready to say, "Sure, please!" but I want to eat, so I say "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill.

I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and says, Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this bill?"

Manager: "It's fake."

Guard: "It doesn't look fake to me."

Manager: "But it's a two dollar bill."

Guard: "Yeah?"

Manager: "Well, there's no such thing, is there?"
The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot, and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue.

So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.

Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail. You get free food there, too

[Manzcar]

If this is a joke it is hillarious. If it is true, I am saddened.

Either way though I was laughing.

[Flowersss]

LMAO thats funny now....

they havent seen a 2$ bill? they've been out for about 3 years now...

btw, those 2 dollar bills are bad luck. Why you say? because I received one back about 2 years ago when I was buying clothes at the mall and I was sooo excited because it was a 2 dollar bill. I decided since they were 'rare'...Id take it to my next track meet and keep it in my track bag or something HOPING I could PR (personal record) in both my races...

I get to the meet...and I found out I forgot my spikes.
I get in my car DRIVE to the hotel, get my spikes, and leave.
Right when I get there, they are calling for my first event so I quickly get out of my car... check in, and try and warm up.

So I'm at the line ready to run...half way warmed up
the official yells at me saying that I better be lucky hes giving me a second chance because I have my EARRINGS IN.
I this point I'm slapping myself in the face asking "YOU FORGOT TO TAKE YOUR EARRINGS OFF??? GAHH! (thats a big deal in track&feild)" So then I run the race...

half way through the race I get cleated on my calf by this chick's track shoe (owowowow)

I cross the finish line...look up at the clock....the WORST race/day, I've EVER had.

I got home and listened to the wrath of my parents >.<

[kirbysprite]

Pretty cool, you got free food.

How come only people 40 years and older appreciate this story?

I apprieciate this story and I'm... waaaaaaay younger than 40. I don't like to give out my age over the internet.

I this point I'm slapping myself in the face asking "YOU FORGOT TO TAKE YOUR EARRINGS OFF??? GAHH! (thats a big deal in track&feild)"

Why does it matter that you take your earrings off?

[secbro20]

Free food, nice. who doesn't know about a $2 bill? They used to be printed.

[Flowersss]

Why does it matter that you take your earrings off?

Government lawww >.<

[Zwivix]

Ehh i just thought some younger people wouldnt find humor since they might not have had much experience with dumb people like that working at restaurants.

[Ralath]

Manager: "Fine -- have it your way then."

Me: "Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?"

LOL!

But otherwise.... *headdesk*

[Mindspank]

Two dollar bills are actually OUT of print but still in circulation.

And if you really wanna toss someone off guard, try this:

Sometimes when im feeling extra idiotic, ill go to Dairy queen, or any other food establishment where the younger, more attractive yet less intelligent women work. ill walk up, order my food, all confident, all smiles, start a bit of conversation during the ordering process. Turn on a bit of the Charisma, make a few bluff checks. Then when the subject of cash comes up for my total, ill thumb through my wallet, look for a bit and be like "eeehhh do you take out of state cash?"

Gets about 90% of the people I ask. The other 10% just laugh. Great ice breaker if the woman you like works food service, and generally entertaining none the less. ESPECIALLY HERE IN KOREA!!!

[Belaslav]

Oh gawd... That made me laugh so hard.