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xD this made me lol
This is so what its like to live here...
Dear Diary:
Aug. 12 - Moved into our new home in Michigan . It is so beautiful here. The hills and river valleys are so picturesque. I have a beautiful old oak tree in my front yard. Can hardly wait to see the change in the seasons. This is truly God's Country.
Oct. 14 -Michigan is such a gorgeous place to live, one of the real special
places on Earth. The leaves are turning a multitude of different colors . I love all of the shades of reds, oranges and yellows, they are so bright. I
want to walk through all of the beautiful hills and spot some white tail
deer. They are so graceful, certainly they must be the most peaceful creatures on Earth. This must be paradise.
Nov. 11 - Deer season opens this week. I can't imagine why anyone
would want to shoot these elegant animals. They are the very symbol of
peace and tranquility here in Michigan . I hope it snows soon. I love it here!
Dec. 2 - It snowed last night. I woke to the usual wonderful sight: everything covered in a beautiful blanket of white. The oak tree is
magnificent. It looks like a postcard. We went out and swept the snow from
the steps and driveway. The air is so crisp, clean and refreshing. We had a
snowball fight. I won, and the snowplow came down the street. He must
have gotten too close to the driveway because we had to go out and shovel the end of the driveway again. What a beautiful place. Nature in harmony. I love it here!
Dec. 12 - More snow last night. I love it! The plow did his cute little trick again. What a rascal. A winter wonderland. I love it here!
Dec. 19 - More snow - couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work in
time. I'm exhausted from all of the shoveling. And that snowplow!
Dec. 21 - More of that white shit coming down. I've got blisters on my
hands and a kink in my back. I think that the snowplow driver waits around
the corner until I'm done shoveling the driveway. Asshole.
Dec. 25 - White Christmas? More freakin' snow. If I ever get my hands
on the sonofabitch who drives that snowplow, I swear I'll castrate him.
And why don't they use more salt on these roads to melt this crap??
Dec. 28 - It hasn't stopped snowing since Christmas. I have been inside
since then, except of course when that SOB "Snowplow Harry" comes by.
Can't go anywhere, cars are buried up to the windows. Weather man says to
expect another 10 inches. Do you have any idea how many shovelfuls 10 inches is??
Jan. 1 - Happy New Year? The way it's coming down it won't melt until the
4th of July! The snowplow got stuck down the road and the shithead actually had the balls to come and ask to borrow a shovel! I told him I'd broken 6 already this season.
Jan. 4 - Finally got out of the house. We went to the store to get some food and a goddamn deer ran out in front of my car and I hit the bastard. It did $3,000 in damage to the car. Those beasts ought to be killed. The hunters should have a longer season if you ask me.
Jan. 27 - Warmed up a little and rained today . The rain turned the snow
into ice and the weight of it broke the main limb of the oak tree in the front yard and it went through the roof. I should have cut that old piece of shit into fireplace wood when I had the chance.
May 23 - Took my car to the local garage. Would you believe the whole underside of the car is rusted away from all of that damn salt they
dump on the road? Car looks like a bashed up, heap of rusted cow shit.
May 10 - Sold the car, the house, and moved to Florida . I can't imagine
why anyone in their freakin' mind would ever want to live in the God forsaken State of Michigan.
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LOL
Avalanche Champion!
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