rough

**MikeyG** · 10-11-2008, 10:20 AM

Being cheated on because someone is do drunk to function is really rough..

**Loveless** · 10-11-2008, 10:24 AM

That sucks. Though in my opinion that's a sorry excuse but that's just me. I give no seconds chances to such behaviour.

Dynamics · 10-11-2008, 10:27 AM

Don't know what to say if it's you being cheated on mate, cause that is indeed real rough.

I'm a firm believer that being drunk is a horrible excuse for cheating.

**MikeyG** · 10-11-2008, 10:32 AM

It happened like this. I absolutly can't stand kathleens friends so
she wanted to go to a party with them I said fine, I had a party to go to as well. So later on 4 of my buddies come to this party and pull me aside and tell me they were jsut at this other party, and my girlfriend is basically passed out on the couch and some fucking tool is kissing her. I went back and smashed the kid and destroyed the persons house with his body... but its just not satisfying enough cause I know its not all his fault. Im just to confused as to what to do.

lamchopz · 10-11-2008, 10:35 AM

i'm not sure if you're the talking type of guy but discussing this with your girlfriend is a good start (shows you have patience and are willing to listen, which gives her the sort of confidence to spill things out).

if she hasn't done anything more than just a kiss, it can still be fixed.

Dynamics · 10-11-2008, 10:39 AM

If she was literally passed out on the couch, I think it's safe to say she was taken advantage of. Though I think it was pretty irresponsible of her to get drunk or at least her friends for not watching the situation. Something's just not right with that scene if you know what I meant mate.

I also agree with lam that discussing this with your girlfriend is the best start. I also think it's tough to recover from something like that, because it's really a punch from the dark. Hopefully talking with your girlfriend will re-assure you more, or at least give you the answers for the questions you're thinking about.

Seriously hope things get better and not worse from this point for your sake D:

**Vasu** · 10-11-2008, 10:44 AM

Damn...best of luck to ya...

**Lady-Loki** · 10-11-2008, 03:28 PM

idk, there's a lot that comes to mind here, but let me start with

Mikey!! WTH??? At your age the people who own the house might be able to have you charged with trespassing & vandalism! Don't get so angry so fast that you run that risk!

kk, now, here's where I started the thoughts:

Quote:

It happened like this. I absolutly can't stand kathleens friends so
she wanted to go to a party with them I said fine, I had a party to go to as well.

Have you really evaluated this relationship to see how strong & true it is? I mean, when I was dating my hubby we could not imagine going to separate parties. We had to be together even if it meant we went to neither party. And there were some friends who we each backed away from because there were personality conflicts.

So, that said, if this relationship is one that "is what it is", then all the more reason to not be so angry that you go off like that.

kk, now:

Quote:

So later on 4 of my buddies come to this party and pull me aside and tell me they were jsut at this other party, and my girlfriend is basically passed out on the couch and some fucking tool is kissing her. I went back and smashed the kid and destroyed the persons house with his body... but its just not satisfying enough cause I know its not all his fault.

What is her relationship with this other guy? Is it possible they were all kissy-face before she passed out & he was just still locked in or was she giving him the brush off and he saw an opportunity once she passed out?

There is a lot we don't really know about this.

Quote:

Im just to confused as to what to do.

You talk to her. Even if you are not the talking type - you talk. First make a hard assessment of your feelings to determine exactly how deep you are in this relationship and then talk.

You need to know in your head how much you are willing to give up or compromise to keep the relationship (i.e. can you give up going partying with your buddies? can you bite your tongue and tolerate an evening with her friends when she wants to party with them?). You need to think a lot of it through before hand so that you aren't caught off guard if she says something like "if you can't spend time with my friends, then it's your fault" (or some other "wth?" type remark. At least you have evaluated your feelings and you are better prepared to say "you're right, I take some responsibility and I love you enough to bite my tongue and tolerate <insert name here>" or to say "you're wrong, it is both our faults because I can't stand <insert name here> and you don't care enough about our relationship to avoid him/her to keep us an good terms. If we can't both make compromises for the relationship, then maybe it isn't really a relationship after all.

But remember - you need to know in your head how much you are willing to give up or compromise to keep the relationship before hand so you don't put up a brick wall too quick and block any potential compromise and so that you don't make unreasonable compromises too quick in the heat of a discussion.

kk, I would also go off into the drinking to the point of oblivion risks, but that is secondary at this point. And for you the obvious risk is sleeping in an empty field - for her that risk is some guy (or guys) taking advantage and no one else at the party realizing something happened until she was raped or missing. But that aside, alcohol poisoning kills way too many young people because by the time they are drunk they don't realize it and they drink whatever someone hands them.

**MikeyG** · 10-11-2008, 05:45 PM

Quote:

Mikey!! WTH??? At your age the people who own the house might be able to have you charged with trespassing & vandalism! Don't get so angry so fast that you run that risk!

This part isn't good because I have court in 3 weeks for assault charges already. Last night I was out past my curfew so if i was to get in trouble for that I would be fucked.

Quote:

Have you really evaluated this relationship to see how strong & true it is? I mean, when I was dating my hubby we could not imagine going to separate parties. We had to be together even if it meant we went to neither party. And there were some friends who we each backed away from because there were personality conflicts.

Are relationship is pretty good, good enough that I was pretty sure I could trust her. We don't have to be together every dieing second and usually i put up with her friends to be with her but that night i needed a night to myself.

Quote:

What is her relationship with this other guy? Is it possible they were all kissy-face before she passed out & he was just still locked in or was she giving him the brush off and he saw an opportunity once she passed out?

And as for the guy hes a year younger then me and goes to my school, but im pretty sure as to before this party they didn't no eachother.
Hes a really ugly disgusting guy to so all my girlfriends don't udnerstand why she would do it. From peoples stories it sounds more like he forced himself on her thats why Im glad I kicked this kids teeth in.

Quote:

kk, I would also go off into the drinking to the point of oblivion risks, but that is secondary at this point. And for you the obvious risk is sleeping in an empty field - for her that risk is some guy (or guys) taking advantage and no one else at the party realizing something happened until she was raped or missing. But that aside, alcohol poisoning kills way too many young people because by the time they are drunk they don't realize it and they drink whatever someone hands them.

Hearing that she was passed out was hurtful. She has a liver problem already and if shes drinking i usually have to watch her so she doesnt go overboard yet non of her friends did that.

Anyways thanks for the great advice and support loki and others.