[cillia]

Q___Q this almost made me cry from just reading it.

as far as your kids go, go with what Yosei said. I think thats your best option. (if not option, maybe opportunity?)

and divorce is always hard. no matter who it is, someone always gets hurt.

lots of people do suicide... ( just my guess but) im pretty sure that 3/20 (i like to do random fractions so... yeah... my best guess x.x ) of the people who say they are going to commit suicide and try it, somehow end up not dying in the end. i think that in a small corner in your mind, you might have been thinking something around the lines of.. "if i do this, what will my kids think? what about all the people who met me and had some fun times?" and maybe think of all the people crying at your deathbed and such.

sorry i fail at typing stuff like this. xD i try and... yeah fail.