When you were 13, she suggested a haircut that was becoming. You thanked her by telling her she had no taste.
– Ummm… you butchered my head, and I was 8.
When you were 14, she paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by forgetting to write a single letter.
– Ummm…. You told me not to waste the paper or stamp, because I would be home before you even received the letter, and I was 12.
When you were 15, she came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.
– You never allowed me to lock my door and threatened to take it off the hinges, if you ever found it locked.
When you were 16, she taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you could.
– Ummm…. You bought me my own car, 
When you were 17, she was expecting an important call. You thanked her by being on the phone all night. –
Ummm… You bought me my own phone with my own separate phone line.
When you were 18, she cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn.
– Ummm… no, I came back home and had a small family gathering.
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