Stepped outside to explore the backyard once. Was pretty entertaining watching the laundry billow in the winds. Then, with my adventurous spirit all pumped up, went to check the mail. The journey from the backyard to the frontyard was difficult, as it involved solving these difficult puzzles set up by god knows who, where the aim was to twist some sort of "handle" to access the next room. Once getting to the mailbox (yes I miraculously managed to make it), I was confronted by a beast calling itself "the mailman." The beast was nay-high, had no legs and was transporting itself on some kind of foreign vehicle. I decided to go into the garage, get my harpoon and throw it at him with all my might. Afterwhich, the beast was slayed (only then did I realise it did indeed have legs), so I took its transportation unit to ride off into the sunset.
Here is a picture of the beast I slayed:
Though not visible in the picture, the beast also wore the nametag "chinhchinh" The man in the background ran to the beasts aid, screaming "why god, why." I do not know his identity.