The two faces of love
Are as easy as this
It's the best feeling in the world
And the one you'll never miss
You'll always have someone to hold
Idealistic views of happiness

From the beginning you'll never see
The flaws you do ignore
Until they're just too obvious
They knock upon your door
At once the thoughts flood your mind:
"Is he with me, or with another whore?"

It all starts to fall apart one at a time
Like a row of deadly dominoes
Fear, doubt, hatred, jealousy, regret, paranoia
The life now full of woes
A strike into the center of your memory-
'I can't help it, this love endlessly grows!'-

One day you take the time
to reminisce upon the days of golden joy
When you laughed, lived, loved
Knocked upon the gates of Troy
You knew that you would make it
Despite others saying your soul he would destroy.

The light shines and you can see clear
What you have to do
Give him another shot
You show him you find your love to be true
After all no proof of him being wrong
Maybe it was just you?

A valuable lesson you just realized
Among your poisons you will have to pick
You swore to love him forever
Whether he is healthy or he's sick
Everyone has his or her flaws
Learning which ones you can live with is the trick.

Originally Posted by booyah8876 (Post 149264) The two faces of love Are as easy as this It's the best feeling in the world And the one you'll never miss You'll always have someone to hold Idealistic views of happiness.

Originally Posted by booyah8876 (Post 149264) From the beginning you'll never see The flaws you do ignore Until they're just too obvious They knock upon your door At once the thoughts flood your mind: "Is he with me, or with another whore?"

Originally Posted by booyah8876 (Post 149264) It all starts to fall apart one at a time Like a row of deadly dominoes Fear, doubt, hatred, jealousy, regret, paranoia The life now full of woes A strike into the center of your memory- 'I can't help it, this love endlessly grows!'-

Originally Posted by booyah8876 (Post 149264) One day you take the time to reminisce upon the days of golden joy When you laughed, lived, loved Knocked upon the gates of Troy You knew that you would make it Despite the other people saying your soul he would destroy.

Originally Posted by booyah8876 (Post 149264) The light shines and you can see clear What you have to do Give him another shot You show him you find your love to be true After all no proof of him being wrong Maybe it was just you?

Originally Posted by booyah8876 (Post 149264) A valuable lesson you just realized Among your poisons you will have to pick You swore to love him forever Whether he is healthy or he's sick Everyone has their flaws Learning which ones you can live with is the trick.

Time to critique, methinks. I don't know if you're the type to take offense to criticism, but I'll still offer my opinion.

Maybe it is my personal preference, but I dislike the use of contractions in a literary work. It seems too colloquial, and I would suggest removing them. However, it appears you're using iambic pentameter. Up to you at this point.

Perhaps you should restructure the third line to incorporate gradatio. For instance, paranoia is the weakest emotion here, and hatred is the strongest. Perhaps "paranoia, regret, doubt, fear, jealousy, hatred" or something? It's an opinion at this point.

Last line: there is no grammatical error with "the other people," but simply "others" may be a better choice here? Perhaps a synonym for "saying" instead; again, colloquialism.

Third line: "shot" sounds out of place, as it is colloquial. Yes, I criticize colloquialism thoroughly in literary works. To me it sounds uncouth, ah well.

Contractions once again. Also, a grammatical error in the penultimate line: everyone has his or her flaws, as "everyone" is a singular term.

The Two Faces of Love