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is there anyone you just really hate?
-+:YOU CAN IGNORE THIS THREAD, I'M JUST TALKING TO MYSELF AND RANTING:+-
i honestly thought i could never hate a teacher this much. not even my french teach from sopphomore year of highschool who tried to give me D's i didn't deserve. i just really hate this lady and it's distracting me from doing my lab. i want my normal fiestafan/flyffworld distractions but she's really getting to me. so much that i imed my mother from my phone as soon as i got out of class this morning just to tell her how much i hate this woman. |
afagfdgsd i do't even feel like doing this lab right now. i never knew hate could be so distracting.
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if you keep thining about the teacher, you let them win. Take a few deep breathes and pretend you are blowing her away from you as you breath out. Then if you think about her again, tell yourself that you will not let them win and think about something else.
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it makes it worse that i still have work to finish for her class that i really don't want to do now but have to.
i'll probably feel somewhat better after talking to my mother but i havne't been able to talk to her yet because of classes and her being busy every other time. |
The school year is almost over =D I think. Depends where you live.
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i want to just go to sleep but again i can't because i still have work to do.
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What'd she do?
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today however she ahd us writing like introductory paragraphs as if we were going to write two pages on whichever subject it was on this play that we had to read (the importance of being ernest). now when i have to write something i first think about what exactly it is i'm going to say, then i try to figure out how to put it down on paper (order and everything) so unlike other people who just start writing i take a while to really start. though at the same time she has this habit of looking at me and asking me stuff in class and i really didn't want her to call on me to read it so the way i write just kinda worked out since i wouldn't finish before anyone. lo and behold she looks over at me and says "adrian you don't seem to be writing very much, having writer's block?" or some crap like that. i of course just say i'm just trying o tthink through it. i had only had like one sentence down which i was debating over whether to keep or not. eventually made a decision and went on trying to formulate the rest of it (had to check the book for a name first though). she said something else to me but i forget what. then after she stopped everyone from writing and was asking people what they wrote about she came back to me again. she said something like i only had like a couple sentences written down or something. which is true, i only had a couple written down but wtf was she doing watching me like a hawk the entire time. so then she was like "well what can we suggest to adrian to help him with his writers block?". one guy was just like well you can reread the story (didn't really need to, it actually became interesting to me as i read so i practically have the thing burned into my brain, except of course some names cause i'm terrible with them. well actually it's just one name i didn't remember and that was the aunt/gwendolyn's mother). well so then she was like "well if that doesn't work what else can we suggest?". of course nobody had anything to say. rereading it is actually something she said before and was the simplest thing to suggest. well of course she had to say the suggestion she really wanted. "well you can write a summary to help you think of things to write, so that's what i want you to do, write a summary". profanity ahead, i'm putting it in white text: DON'T EVER FUCKING CALL ME OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING CLASS AND THEN GIVE ME EXTRA WORK TO DO YOU HORRID BITCH! was the first thing that popped into my head. i was unsure at first that she wanted me to write a summary right there. i was hoping she was just suggesting it if i had future problems getting writing started. but it seemed that yes, she wanted me to do it right there. i'll tell you now that holding my emotions back is a very difficult thing for me to do. i have gotten some practice in it over the past couple years and had to put it to good use. obviously just not looking at her was not an option so i had to keep a somewhat calm and composed face. definately had ot avoid the look i wanted to give her which is the look i used ot accidently give me father whenever he would fuss at me about something he really didn't need to. he used to say that i was looking at him as if i was going to kill him. yea definately had to avoid that in this situation. so i started for a second, got a couple sentences down, but again disbelief struck me. the thought returned that maybe she didn't really want me to do it now. she was off talking about other things with writing and i just decided to listen and stopped writing. a little while in she asked me how the summary was going. i told her that i had just been listening. don't remember what she said exactly but it was something along the lines of to get back to working on the summary so i did. after a while of thinking and getting a few sentences down i realized i didn't like what i had written so i decided to start over. i was like three sentences in when she again asked me how it was going so i told her i had started over. the guy next to me looked over at my paper and said it was looking good. she said "nice to stick up for your friend" or some shit like that. so end of class comes and she said she wants to collect the writing that we did. as far as i can remember she has NEVER collected this writing before. she then asks me if i had finished the summary. i said not quite. she tells me to finish it and turn it into her this afternoon (can't remember if she gave me a specific time). then as i was starting to put my stuff away she said i had a couple minutes to try to finish it. so i go on writing but people for the next class start coming in. so then she's like "adrian i'll be waiting for you in the hall". i am at the point where i just don't give a f**k about it anymore. people for the next class are coming in to get their seats and crap and she leaves me sitting in there writing crap for her. so i just wrote down some crap real quick packed my stuff, walked out of the class, handed the paper to her and left. immediately i pul out my phone and im my mother telling her "I HATE MY LIT TEACHER SO MUCH. IF I COULD CUSS I'D HAVE A FEW CHOICE NAMES FOR HER" and just imed sinner telling him that's she's a b*tch. had to get it out to someone. holy crap i took so long to write that that i got logged out and some people have actually finished their labs. however now that i've said it for a second time i'll be a lot more calm and composed when i talk to my mother. |
holy crap, that has got to be the longest post i've ever typed.
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