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A_Forever 03-31-2009 12:56 AM

xDD
 
Okay, I know there's things on FML way better than this.. but.. omg.. MSN NUB. (Plus, I find the sex ones to be the best and I really don't think I should post any of those.) o:

Quote:

Today, I was going through my old MSN conversations. I then realized that when I first got MSN, I didn't know that messages you sent after people went offline would be delivered to them when they signed in. I used to type 'I love you' to my crush after every time he went offline. FML

Warning_Shot 03-31-2009 12:58 AM

Awwww.

Loveless 03-31-2009 01:00 AM

Haha I saw that one last night. xD

A_Forever 03-31-2009 01:01 AM

I'm catching up on them DDD:

Leesa 03-31-2009 01:01 AM

Aww XDD

edit: holy shiz u guys reply WAY too fast @.@

A_Forever 03-31-2009 01:05 AM

I think this is okay to post xDD

Quote:

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were having sex. He has a game on in the background and one of his friends started talking to him. He immediately threw me off and said "i have to answer this." Went over to his computer and started talking to them. FML.
EDIT:

Quote:

Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML

Hessah 03-31-2009 01:10 AM

wat does FML stand for?

A_Forever 03-31-2009 01:10 AM

Fuck my life.

All these can be found @ www.fmylife.com

Tamashiiryuu 03-31-2009 01:12 AM

Lmao!!! That is...messed up?

A_Forever 03-31-2009 01:19 AM

Quote:

Today, I checked my facebook, and my wife of 5 years was listed as single. I then write on her wall that it is ok to announce to be married. She writes back saying that we have to talk and to come to the kitchen. My wife divorced me over facebook. FML
Quote:

Today, the girl I've had a crush on forever asked me why the pin on my Letterman jacket had two guys doing it. I told her it was for participating in a wrestling tournament. And she responded, "Oh I thought you were finally coming out of the closet!" FML
Quote:

Today, my mom has been calling me every ten minutes, asking me questions about her new computer. She called me at work, and I rudely answered her question. She called back, talked to my boss, saying she was a customer that called in, and I was rude to her. FML
x.x

Hessah 03-31-2009 01:27 AM

LOL that last one made me laugh

Warning_Shot 03-31-2009 01:31 AM

A_For... you weren't searching "Jesus" on FML, where you?

Because I'm trying to find a funny one I read once, and I'm seeing all the ones that you just posted. xD

A_Forever 03-31-2009 01:32 AM

No no.. I'm catching up on the ones I've missed. When you go to the site.. you see all categories and most recent posts.

Warning_Shot 03-31-2009 01:32 AM

Quote:

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML
Jesus sees all. :ninja: Or mom. xD :ninja:

A_Forever 03-31-2009 01:33 AM

I read that one a week or two ago. LMAOOO

kirbysprite 03-31-2009 01:50 AM

The ones with kids are funny. Those kids have to be so innocent...:laugh:

A_Forever 03-31-2009 01:52 AM

Quote:

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we we're watching a movie in my basement. I run upstairs and pop a bag of popcorn. Later I come downstairs to find my 10 year old brother sitting next to my girlfriend saying," My brother always says he wants to screw your brains out, whatever that means". FML
/end

kirbysprite 03-31-2009 02:01 AM

This one is a wow...I would be surprised if my kid said that (if I had a kid):

Quote:

Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML

A_Forever 03-31-2009 02:03 AM

LOOOOL.

I'd say something like that to either of my parents xD

Belaslav 03-31-2009 02:04 AM

Quote:

Today, I was working out out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML
Lmao.

Quote:

Today, I told my mom about my night terrors in which I am laying in a ditch with people shooting at me, and I have no ammunition to defend myself. She told me I should stop being such a whiny bitch, and to grow up and be a man. I am 20 and got back from Iraq 10 months ago. FML
Ouch... His mom's a bi...

Quote:

Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling on bed watching tv. He gets up at one point and turns the light off and I asked him why. He said "You look better in the dark". FML
Pwned.

Quote:

Today, after a tiff with my boyfriend, I said to him, "You could at least PRETEND to love me sometimes." He responded with, "I do pretend to love you!" FML
Pwned^2.

Quote:

Today, my college economics class had a big test. We all needed a scantron sheet, but some people forgot some. I had an extra one and this really hot girl offered to buy it for $1.00. I said I'd give it to her for her number. She looked around and asked "Does anyone else have an extra?" FML
Haha.

Quote:

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML
...

Quote:

Today, I came home a few days early from a 3-month business trip. As I opened my apartment door, hoping to surprise my girlfriend, the man she’s apparently been cheating on me with promptly punched me in the face. He thought I was a burglar. FML
:cheeky:

Quote:

Today, my over-protective mom decided to do a blacklight test on my room to make sure I wasn't doing the naughty in my bed. The bed was clean. My face wasn't. FML
:cheeky::cheeky:

Quote:

Today, I decided to ask my girlfriend of 3 years to marry me. I made brownies with walnuts and put an engagement ring into the brownie I gave her. Not only did she choke on the ring, but on the way to the emergency room, I find out she is highly allergic to walnuts. FML
Ooh.. ugly.

A_Forever 03-31-2009 02:05 AM

Too much, Bela, too much. xD

Vasu 03-31-2009 05:16 AM

Some of these seem fake to me, but all of them are hilarious, LOL.

kirbysprite 03-31-2009 05:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vasu (Post 315136)
Some of these seem fake to me, but all of them are hilarious, LOL.

inorite.

Here's another kid one:
Quote:

Today, I heard a little girl saying how much she didnt want braces to her mom because they hurt and make people look ugly. I looked at her and said, "Aww, there not that bad. See, i have them!" I then smiled to show her. She turned to her mom and said, "See!" then started to cry. FML


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