Bullying.
 

Many of you may not know this, and many more will not care, but im only 13, and therefore going through school and dealing with the usual things. bullies, jerks, etc...

I've noticed something. people treat others badly for absolutely no reason. it's not that im new to this... i've been bullied for a while now... i just dont understand why. why do people feel the need to treat others with hate, instead of kindness? why must people spread hate, not respect? and just as importantly, is there anything we (not meaning the small group in fiestafan, but the human race in its entirety) solve this problem? i know it's the key question of life, and it's always been asked... but... idk. i just dont understand why it's been accepted as natural to treat someone completely equal to you who you've never known as a sub-human because of looks, or because they unwittingly did something that annoyed you...

anyway, yeah... feel free to discuss. it would be much appreciated.

The first thing you've got to do is have confidence in yourself. Bullies are pretty good at spotting weakness in others and exploiting it.

The next thing you need to do is find the biggest bully away from school and beat the hell out of him. A good swift kick in the nuts should distract him, then give a nice clean shot to the jaw. That should both a) show you aren't weak and b) give you a little more respect.

I was bullied up until 9th grade when I was just finally fed up with it. Some jock took my bag after gym class and threw it on the roof. I used the above method and laid his ass out on the pavement. I wasn't bullied after that.

i'm sorry, but that simply doesnt work for me.

1. im a wimp.
2. violence with violence only makes more violence... Ghandi, Thoreau, Martin Luther King, and Jesus have all shown us that. if i hit them back, how am i any better than the bully? it's just giving into their will.

and as for self confidence.. im an emo O.o

And Edit: i'm looking for a solution to hate in general... this question has been plaguing me for a while... why cant we treat each other with respect? i mean, i understand arguments and stuff.... but why war? why hate? why greed? what's the point of it all?

all of the world's lands and resources arent worth a single person's life. why wage war for no real GOOD reason?

Humans are self-aware primates, pure and simple. We've made advances in civilization despite this, not because of it. There is no "solution" to hate. It's part of the human condition. It's not pretty, but that's life.

I refuse to believe that. there have been great peacemakers in the past, as listed before, Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Jesus, etc... Regardless of religion, any sensible man would have to admit that world peace would be fantastic.

i dont get what the POINT of hate is. why feel contempt towards someone you don't even KNOW?

Humans have an evil nature and are satisfied when they see someone suffer while they triumph and feel like they're the best. Simple.

*sigh*... but that's such a pessimistic approach... i mean... can't we change? cant we see that if we treated others differently, we could change things?

can't people treat others with respect?

EDIT: i dont believe we're evil by nature. i believe we're born pure, and then experiences and choices make us choose our path.

I don't know that I'd go so far as to say humans are evil. Capable of evil, sure, but they aren't inherently evil.

It'd be great if everyone were all nice, but it just isn't stable. If everyone were a pacifist, one person could come along and subjugate everyone else. The population is better served by having a mix of the two.

I was bullied a lot when I was little. I was the little chubby kid. It was the worst in Middle School. I actually got picked on for being fat by a girl who was fatter than me o.O how that works, I dunno. But yeah. Never let it get to you. People who are like that usually have some inner anger issues or they're grudging someone. Like.. a bad home life. And sometimes, they just haven't been raised right. Their parents or guardians didn't teach them any better. How to respect people, how to judge people, etc. Does that give them an excuse? Of course not.

What I did was treat them like they were retarded. Like, example:

Guy: *snork* Hey, eating that isn't going to help you lose weight.
Girl: Excuse me? Did I say I was trying to lose weight? No, I didn't. Was I even talking to you? Of course not, because that would be a waste of my time now wouldn't it? Yeah, because I'm just way too busy working on being fat because I just want to be that way. *smiles* *gives him the finger* *turns away*

Stuff like that usually shuts them up. Especially with me, I was quiet, but then when someone would say something mean to me like that, I would just simple belittle them right back. When they pick on you, they are expecting you to shy away, panic, cry, etc, whatever makes them feel like the bigger person.

but im not that quick witted... i can think of stuff later, but im not good under pressure x.x

and when i DO say something witty, they push me and cuss me out ._.

http://www.publishersweekly.com/arti...rles_atlas.JPG

Lamenting the fact that some people are dicks is an exercise in futility. It sounds like you're an easy mark. Until you learn to either deal with it or not let it bother you, you'll just be a ticking time bomb waiting for a little thing to push you over the edge into a Columbine type thing.

lol... the 50's = fail.

You can explain certain bullying behaviours by looking at:

- They have a relative who is a bully and they learn from that person. For example, having a bully father can (but doesn't always) result in one's being a bully.
- One is treated badly at home and develops the nees to feel superior to others out of his/her home. Bullying is one "solution".
- One may treat you out of spite for your intelligence, achievements, etc. He/she envies you but has no means to compete with you, so in the best attempt to put you down, bullying is one such method.

By bullying, I don't just refer to "physical" but also "psychological". Verbal abuse is also considered to be a form of "bullying" if it causes you stress and/or trauma.

In one episode of Torchwood, a village is found to cannibalise travellers who happen to stop at their little village. The investigator questions one of the villagers because she doesn't get why a human can prey and kill and eat another human. She gets a simple answer: "Because it makes me happy". Bizarre, isn't it? But it's just how humans are. It's the variety. Sometimes it hurts.

Well its not exactly quick witted. Really, most things that people pick on others for are uncontrollable things. Like when I was picked on for being chubby. I mean seriously, its not like I woke up one day and was like "I want to be fat! Gimme some cake!", I actually have a condition which farks up my metabolism. Don't make it sound like you're whining though. Shove it into their face that they do not know you, contadict any assumptions they make. And if they shove you, say something like "Oh real smooth, can't think of a decent come back? So you have to shove me? Oh please, keep acting like a 3 year old who hasn't had their nap." Also, if its during school, point out that you're not the one throwing away your education and future just so you can make yourself feel like a big kid. But really, if they cuss or shove you after a come back, that means its worked, they can't think of a come back or something logical to do (besides dropping it) so the only way to defend themselves is to cuss, the easiest verbal comeback, or they just get physical.

1. The problem with that metaphore is that those villagers were probably isolated from society... these people, for the most part, are raised KNOWING this is wrong.

2. i never even TALKED to one of these people. my first interaction with him went something like this:

me: *standing in line for something*
kid: *yelling* move, *explitive involving a female dog*! D:<
me: ...wth? go to hell >.>

1. Um, no, the villagers are aware of society's values. They even have TVs, police, etc. All of them form this little tradition of preying on passer-bys.

2. Because you said "Go to hell", you became a target.

1. ok, i didnt know that, i've never seen that show.

2. i think what i was called warrants a bit of anger. me telling him to go to hell for cussing at me doesnt give him the right to push me around and call me names.

^^; i guess it matters what kind of bullying your talking about. It definately matters what kind of person you are.


for me, im 12 and i actually get bullied(well more physical) by my friends.. i mean i know they are just playing around but they seriously hurt me.. (not like punching..but like twisting my arm and pulling my hair =/) im not exactly pretty or smart, and definately not that social.
when it comes to bullying with words, i just realize that they must be lonely/ have anger issues, dont understand how its sucks to be bullied, or they might have been bullied and want someone to share the pain O.0

as for physical i have no idea since i dont really have a comeback for that X_X

I can't really say I have the answer to your problem since I'm not quite sure what you're asking in the first place.

But I agree with Hrae when he says that it's about self-confidence. Maybe self-confidence isn't the right word here. But I do think you have to get past the point where you're put off by every little thing that the bullies do. If you become upset at what the bullies do, they win. All they want is to get a reaction out of you. You have to realize that what they do is because they have nothing better to do so they have to pick on someone in order to make themselves feel better. When you show that you don't really care what they do, they lose interest.

@cillia: Have you told your friends they need to stop hurting you? If you haven't, then tell them. If you have, then maybe it's time to evaluate who your true friends are. Joking is no longer joking if you're actually getting hurt.

Kid... I'm 18, and what I've learned about the world so far is that life is not about being good/king/passionate to each other. Well, maybe it is at some point, but I've found that my top priority in this world is SURVIVAL. I mean, as a 13 year old guy you live with your parents right? That means that you don't have to worry about your future anytime soon (unless you want to), because your parents provide you with food and shelter. You don't have to worry about things like getting an good education, having a job to help you pay tuition, and passing your exams so that 5 grand you paid doesn't go to waste. You don't have to worry about having a career plan, or starting a family, or getting that promotion at work... I could go on forever like this, but my key point is that you cannot expect difficulties and troubles to avoid you. YOU HAVE TO AVOID THEM, OR FIGHT BACK. But avoiding is not always possible, and doing that too often can cause the problems grow more big and more persistent. So sooner or later you will have to take action.

My point is... You cannot expect problems to disappear on their own, and you cannot always depend on others to help you. When you start a life and move away from you parents (hopefully), most of the time you will be ALONE. ON YOUR OWN. PERIOD. So if you don't learn how to deal with problems like this and how to defend yourself now, then you won't get very far in life.

When I get bullied, like people call me names and stuff:

I either ignore it,
laugh about it,
or
tell them I don't care

When that happens, I let that go...like I care...


Also, I do remember what my health teacher told me. He remembers when he had bullies. Then since he grew up and became successful, the joke was on them. He saw the bullies when they grew up, and he pulled over in his new Mercedes, and said, "Remember me? Yeah, I was the *insult they said*"

I wanna do that to my bullies, so I just ignore it, and become successful... Hopefully this helps...

Your health teacher drives a Mercedes? Where does he teach? I could teach health.

Well, maybe it couldn't of been a Mercedes, but he did say it was some nice new car...

1. Jesus once said "love thy enemy". i dont know your religion, nor am i trying to force my religion upon you, but that's what im trying to make my philosophy. i think the only way i'll ever be satisfied with my life is if i can be the bigger person when that stuff happens to me, and just turn the other cheek.

2. you'd be suprised how much i worry about the future XD

3. i know i can't lean on others. i just wish i would be left ALONE. it's a large group of different kids who make fun of me, mostly because im different. i have rather long hair, and im quiet. im not gonna change myself though. not for them.

i wouldnt do something like that. im not a time bomb. their opinions dont matter THAT much. it's just an annoyance. and it hurts to think that mankind is in such a predicament where stuff like this is just considered normal. i wouldnt ever kill anyone else or myself over something like that. hell, i wouldnt hurt anyone anyway. i just don't understand the hate. i know violence with violence only equals violence. i've read biographies of king and Lennon, i've read alot of the Bible... after all of what people in the past have done for peace, it seems we're just right back at the start...

Have you ever considered that youre being picked on while you're alone? If you have any friends, try to stay with them or near them. Safety comes hand in hand with numbers. I doubt a bully would try to pick on you in front of all your friends.

...*has like, 2 friends in school O.o*

2 is better than none. Have you tried telling them about your situation? Don't be afraid to tell them whats going on, you have friends for a reason. They'll be there if you ever need help or need someone to talk to.

yep. they've given me the same basic advice as everyone here... use a snappy come back, etc. etc... i got my locker moved away from the guy who was pushing me around, but i still get made fun of.

i think it wouldnt bother me as much if i understood why they can't just go away and let me be.

If you can't rely on your friends, talk to your school advisors or campus security (if you have any of those). Your school counselors aren't only there to help you with your grades. You can talk to them about anything like your life or how to make spaghetti. Whatever you say to them is kept within a student/counselor confidentiality agreement also. If the counselor knows you need help, they will see to it that you do get your help and your bully will get what he deserves.

meh... it doesnt hurt much psychologically. i take solace in the fact that they only make fun of me because they're not satisfied with something in their own life or they're just immature. once again, it's more the human condition question that scares me... WHY people have to do this, and can't just try to be better than whoever or whatever their own tormentor is. anyway, thanks for your help you guys. it reaffirms my position that they're just a bunch of jerks. however, im gonna stick with my philosophy of attempting to be peaceful.

thanks again!

Who says my ways aren't peaceful? If you continue to let them bully you around, just as Hraes said, you're going to turn into a ticking time bomb and pull a 2009 columbine massacre (no offense). Just tell your school counselor and I'm sure they'll tell the administration or something. If you dont want to go that way, ask your parent's what they would do and they might help you think of a way to deal with it.

no, not your ways, but some of the earlier posts... and no, i stated before, i wouldnt do anything like columbine. and i've talked to people. im fine, trust me, im not that kind of person... i honestly dont care what they say. all that was really confusing me was the reasoning behind it. but i think i have a better understanding of it. i talked to my parents about it, and they dealt with it accordingly by contacting the teacher in the period.

but seriously, don't worry about me being a timebomb. i get bullied, but i'm not that kinda person. i know that kinda thing is never the situation. i have plenty of things to live for. Music, my girlfriend, my family... i'm happy in life. and i usually get over it within a few minutes or so after it happens. i thought it was a worthy discussion to have.

I don't think you have to do any of those things. In fact, I think that just makes it worse. What they want is the satisfaction of a response.

The best thing you can do is to ignore them.

This often works wonders.

good point. i refuse to use fists, but if i could make a comeback fast enough i would. i think i'll attempt the ignoring strategy.

and as for danger, it's nothing like that, im not getting beaten up all the time, just pushed around sometimes and made fun of alot.

theres mean ppl all over the place , i have a 13 yr old son that plays this game thats been bulled luckly iam a high enough lvl to kill the bullies but its not the right way and outsparks dont seem to understand or deal with this issue.Just remember ur a better person and buy teva

This isn't about bullying in Fiesta. This is about bullying in real life.

Don't forget karma!

I remember in Middle school, there was this one chick, ugh, she was a b*tch. No other way to describe her, thats how she was. She thought she was better than everyone, and if you bumped into her in the hall, it was you who should have been watching where she was walking. She once got into a fight with a girl over that x.x the girl didn't just take it though, the girl yelled at her right back, and yeah, it got physical. Anywho....

That girl didn't make it past 10th grade.